little blue bubbles of ideas

hi all! so it’s been close to a month since i wrote in this thing, and for that, i apologize. my last few weeks in the city were filled with a lot of stress + work + and this weird internal pressure to make my final days some of the best. the blog was just not a priority, although now that i’m home, i kind of wish it was because i already forget a lot. my memory is a butthead sometimes and it is very frustrating. nevertheless, i will try my best to fill you all in.

filmmaking is all-consuming 

the majority of my final weeks in new york were spent making my crew’s + my final film projects. we probably spent twenty or so hours filming our movies and while—yes—it was incredibly exhausting and oftentimes overwhelming, i truly loved every minute. coming into this semester, i knew two things about my film class. 1] i knew zero humans + 2] i had one week to find a crew to work with for the entire semester. i’m someone who really struggles with opening up when i’m in a room full of strangers—especially when those strangers are hip and cool and way more fluent in filmmaking than i am. so clearly, this was a daunting situation.

lucky for me, my future crew approached the corner of visiting students, searching for a fourth member of their group. i [probably too] enthusiastically volunteered myself, and i’m so happy that i did. i don’t know if any of my crew reads this blabber of thoughts, but if you do, thanks for everything. thanks for the support and all of the laughs. i know this semester was just a moment in your time at tisch, but for me, it was all i had. and you guys made it the best.

anyways, sappy stuff aside, i’m proud of my final film. i’ve had this seed of an idea in my head for months – a movie about a girl who gets pregnant. i couldn’t get these shots out of my mind; they were all i thought about. but there was one problem—i had no idea how the movie ended. i didn’t know how my character would react to getting pregnant. would she be happy? or sad? where would she go for help? because i was stuck on the ending—arguably the most important part – i opted out of this idea every time a new project came around. but before i knew it, it was my final project. so i had no choice but to face this story.

to get some help, i turned to my film professor. he’s the one with the long hair and the theatrical mannerisms. and he helped me figure out the ending. he showed me the importance of focusing on the character itself, rather than the circumstance. to look internally as opposed to externally. so that’s what i did. i realized that when this girl gets this huge dollop of news, she doesn’t go to the church or to planned parenthood. she goes home.

i’m not going to go into any more detail on the story, because i’m planning on uploading my movies to vimeo in the next few weeks. so you’ll get to see it in all of its’ [beginner filmmaker] glory soon enough.

i want to go back to my film professor for a second. i’ve never spent more time talking about a professor outside of class [except for my math teacher in high school who i was hopelessly in love with]. rick litvin, my film professor, cares so much about his students. when he says things like ‘i’m so sad to see you all go’, he really means it. it’s not bullshit and it’s not fluff. he wants us to be good and he’s so excited when we are.

beyond his support + expertise + passion, rick is also hilarious. now i promised long ago that i would record one of his tangents. i didn’t do that, but i did jot down some of his best quotes.

behold, non-sensical yet highly inspirational quotes by rick litvin of nyu’s tisch school of the arts:

[on summer] “you are all little hamsters with daisies behind your ears, leaping towards the sun saying, ‘it’s coming! it’s coming!'”

“all i want is a little pen that sucks up ideas”

“like life itself, class vanishes like horses running over a hill, and i’m just the tree stuck on the hill going ‘bye!'”

there was also one about little blue bubbles filled with ideas that float around the room at all times. i don’t know.

also, not a quote by rick, but rather an event. on our last day of class, we had 28 short films to screen. rather than rushing through critiques to ensure that we weren’t in class for 11 hours, we were in class for 11 hours. 11 hours of class. class lasted for 11 hours. and as long as it was + as much as my butt hurt from sitting in an auditorium chair, i sort loved that class more than any other. because it was 11 hours of celebration. celebrating all of our hard work and celebrating the amazing movies we made together.

ok i’m almost done with the filmmaking talk, promise. but this class taught me so much more than how to use the camera or how to edit my footage. it taught me that filmmaking is all-consuming. it’s an obsessive and exhausting interest to have. and i have it. i have it hard. i love making movies.

momma bien came to town 

to get me back to indiana, momma bien decided that she was going to drive our mini van to new york city, bless her soul.

she arrived on a wednesday, and we jumped right into moving me out. i haven’t really mentioned it in this blog cause, you know ~positive vibes only~, but my roommate situation was anything but lovely this semester. it was honestly very sucky and that’s all i want to say about that. as a result, i was happy to move out.

after we got me out of there, we had dinner at this cutie patootie restaurant on my corner that i’ve been eyeing for months. we sat on a second floor balcony, drank beer, and watched five firetrucks bust into a smoking building down the street. ah, new york city.

the next day we woke up and walked to the frick museum. momma bien raised me to love art museums, and the frick is one solid art museum. it’s in this beautiful mansion, so it’s like an art museum and a vanderbilt mansion tour combined. what a steal.

we then got soft pretzels from a food cart and people watched in central park for an hour. momma bien and i both love babies and puppies a lot, a lot, a lot. and lucky for us, there were so many babies and puppies in the park that day. i would like to highlight the basset hound that wouldn’t stop laying down, even when its’ owner would pull really hard. like, there were multiple moments when the owner would get up to walk home and then give up and sit back down on a bench. the big guy wouldn’t budge. it was comedic gold.

that night, we went to a broadway play called ‘the humans’. it was incredibly raw and realistic and funny and honestly very sad. i loved it a big amount, and i’m glad we picked it over ‘maltida’ [sorry ‘matilda’].

the next day, we woke up and drove a lot of hours to washington d.c. to visit my sister madeleine and her boyfriend wade.

i’ve mentioned it many times, but i’ve spent too many hours applying for internships this semester. i applied for more internships than years i’ve been alive, and at this time last week, i hadn’t gotten any ‘yes’ emails from anyone. it was disheartening, but not totally surprising. i only applied for gigs in new york and d.c.—not exactly small towns. and i applied at some big name places. and i’ve never had an internship. so i knew i was shooting for the stars a little bit.

anyways, last week i still didn’t know how i was spending my summer. and it was summer. but then the little internship gods worked their godly magic, and i was offered an internship. at my dream internship place. it was a big day.

now is the part when i say that i’ll be interning at the kennedy center in washington d.c. this summer! when applying for internships, i really wanted to be at the kennedy center. i love live arts, and i am so excited that i’ll be surrounded by it all summer long. i’m nervous + intimidated + happy + shocked.

we spent the weekend lounging around alexandria, where madeleine and wade live. i slept a lot – i was feeling a lot of feelings about leaving new york and they made me very tired. we watched ‘neighbors’ which wade and i thought was hilarious and madeleine and momma bien thought was ‘too much’.

on monday, we said goodbye to the sis, and momma bien and i drove from d.c. to west lafayette. ten hours, straight. we survived off of podcasts + npr + diet coke + cracker barrel. it was quite the trek.

and here i am! back home in indiana. only temporarily. i head to indianapolis tomorrow for a long awaited reunion with my best pals. then next week, the bien clan is going on vacation. and then i’m off to d.c. for the summer. a whirlwind of moments, but i have no doubt all will be wonderful.

also, i realize i didn’t talk much about my #feelings surrounding leaving the city. i’m honestly still feeling very emotional about the whole thing, and if i tried to write about what this experience meant to me, i would start crying. no doubt about it. it’s all a little too recent for me right now, but i do plan on writing about all the #feels + #mems soon enough.

thanks for sticking with me this whole semester, friends! thinking about continuing this thing into the summer, but no promises. hope you all are happy + stuff! xx abby


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